The A B C's of Radical Self-love

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
~ Buddha


Self-love is the building block to achieving all of the beauty Life has to offer. That doesn’t always mean facials and bubble baths, although those are crucial components. Self-love also includes uncomfortable tasks like cutting out toxic friendships and setting a monthly budget. Make sure that you are giving yourself a healthy dose of lovin’ and you’ll notice everything else will start to fall into place.

Appointments. Now is the time to schedule those appointments you have been putting off forever: doctor, dentist, haircut, OBGYN. The fear of the unknown can cause our minds to put thoughts into our heads that everything is wrong. Chances are- it’s not. You’re fine. Just go.

Boundaries. Find your voice. Speak up for yourself. Say no, and do not apologize when you are not in the wrong. You have to prioritize yourself, no matter how uncomfortable, so that you can continue to help others grow and flourish with a full-heart and a clear-head. Overworking and exhausting yourself does nobody any good.


Create. Painting. Photography. Crafting. Upcycling. Whatever your chosen way to create, do it and do it habitually. Creative endeavors often express our feelings and thoughts in ways that words fail.

Dance. Lock the doors, turn down the lights, and feel the rhythm. Let the music flow through you and allow your body to release any emotions it may have been holding on to too tightly. Odesza, Glass Animals, and FKJ are my chosen artists for when I need to feel a vibe.


Empathy. For you, and for those around you. We are all humans: making mistakes, learning as we go, and experiencing our own trials. Listen when others talk, smile at strangers, and offer genuine appreciation. You will change somebody’s day, if not their life, by regularly practicing empathy.

Forgive. Forgiveness is crucial to maintaining a light spirit. This means sometimes you will have to accept that some people will not give you the apology you deserve, and move on. Self-forgiveness is also necessary for your self-love to flourish. Think of all the times you may have inflicted pain on yourself, or made a bad decision. Fully forgive, and learn from those mistakes.


Give. Whether it be volunteering in the neighborhood, helping a family member, or buying a homeless person a meal- giving does as much for you feels as it does for the person in need.

Honesty. When we are honest and authentic with ourselves, we can more accurately understand our values, morals, and vulnerabilities. When we can look at ourselves without judgement and identify our pain, shame melts away and our love of self multiplies. If you notice yourself feeling uneasy or hurt, take some time to do some deep introspection and ask yourself “why?”


Intentions. Create a physical vision board and set fire to those ambitions! Every goal needs to be followed by solid actions. Want to start a business? Start by buying the web domain. Want to be a more conscious consumer? Start with a huge clothing purge.

Journaling. Maintaining a journal is a beautiful way to express all of your thoughts at the end of the day and start the next with a clean slate. My grandmother is a shining example: she has managed to keep a journal for the last 28 years. It’s a habit that requires dedication and motivation in the beginning and soon becomes necessary.

Kiss. Ain’t nothing wrong with getting a little flirt and cuddle on! Consensual, of course, and as long as it feels right. Scientifically: kissing releases dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin in your body (read: happy hormones). Unscientifically: it’s so much fun!


Laughter. The best medicine! If you’re feeling yourself getting into a funk, invite your best gal pal over for a night of catching up, laughs, and wine. Or better yet, go to your local comedy club and let the professionals do the work. Laughter is proven to help our bodies release tension and increase our oxygen flow.

Meditation. Take 10 minutes a day to just breath, observe your thought patterns, and let the bad stuff go.

Nudity. While living in Colorado, I was able to experience the beauty of the “clothing optional” hot springs in Ouray, Colorado. Awkward at first, and then became a cherished tradition to relax and grow my appreciation of my body. Embrace all that is you and realize you are flawless, girl!


Oils. Want to feel sexy? Rose. Looking for your calm? Lavender. Need to get grounded? Frankincense. The list goes on, but diffusing essential oils is a yummy way to achieve a great mood boost.

Play. Release those inhibitions and get a little silly! For me, festivals do the trick each and every time.

Quiet. Quiet time is necessary. However you like to achieve it, our brains need time to turn off and rest. Candlelit bubble bath paired with a glass of cab sauv is a foolproof combo.

Read. There is an infinite amount of knowledge to be obtained in the world and most of it is contained within literature. The Red Tent, The Alchemist, and The Four Agreements are a few of my personal favorites.


Splurge. If you and your wardrobe need a quick pick me up, a nice splurge may be in order. And, we all know the magical healing properties that treating ourselves to some sexy new lingerie has.

Tea. Enjoying a warm cup of tea in the morning is a beautiful routine to adopt. The process of steeping and sipping can become meditative and a chance to start your day with a slow, introspective moment.

Unite. Finding a group of like-minded women to go throughout life with is an absolute blessing. Men are amazing, but having a solid group of women to express your thoughts and fears to is exhilarating. Look for a women’s circle in your city if you don’t already have a trustworthy crew.


Vitamins. Adding supplements to my daily routine has been a seriously simple way to show my body a little extra TLC. Turmeric, chlorophyll, activated charcoal, and cranberry are currently in my daily rotation.

Water. We are water, plain and simple. Make sure you’re drinking enough and spending time in it to ease your mind and body of tension and regain your relationship with Mother Nature.

eXcess. A good clothing purge and tidying up of your space works wonders to clear your mind. Our outer space reflects our inner space. So, If you are striving for an uncluttered mind and clearer thinking, start with clearing your room of excess stuff, and that will be much easier to achieve.

Yoga. A solid yoga practice enables you to learn about your body in intimate ways. How far you can push it, what causes you pain, and where you hold your stress. Moving and gliding through poses with conscious movement helps you understand and love yourself from the core.


By Jacob Avanzato at LIB

Zzz’s Sleep is essential! Rejuvenating during the night helps your body and mind to better deal with daily aggravations and stressors during the day.