There Is No Debate: Combating Slut Shaming with Self Love

“Babe can I wear this to our next festival? Is this okay??”

“Hell no! Unless it’s just at home. I don’t want anyone else to see you dressed like a slut, only me.”

Nothing makes me cringe harder than seeing comments like this pop up on our Instagram. Girl, the 1950s are over and it’s 2015. Having someone dictate your fashion choices demeans your status from the divine celestial being you were born to be.

Many beautiful and talented people feel trapped in relationships that hold them back, or worse, harm them. You may be one of them. I once was.

I’ve dated people who tried to tell me how to look and dress. I’ve had boyfriends who were physically and emotionally abusive. Beware of anyone who tries to control you, your creativity or how you choose to express yourself. Today I work hard to spread messages of self empowerment, but in the past I’ve suffered through abusive relationships.

So how do you break free? It’s different for everyone. For me, it was physical abuse that finally pushed me to the edge. My now ex boyfriend lashed out and struck me in the face–hard–over a game of cards. That assault did more than ring my bell. It hurt my soul and forced me to wake up and evaluate the choices I was making. Denial was no longer an option. From that moment on, I would never let anyone make me feel so devalued ever again.

The secret of breaking free from a saboteur is to love yourself more. Know exactly who you are and what you’re all about. What matters to you? What do you stand for? And how do you want to be treated? Asking these questions will get you started down the right path. Once you determine these answers, you must let these revelations guide your actions and your choices every day.

Hold everyone to these standards. Toxic people will be unable to meet these expectations and leave. Instead, you will have a gorgeous garden of strong friends who respect and support you. You’ll find that you no longer have to ask anyone how to dress or how to live your life because you are comfortable with being YOU.

There is no debate–it’s your world, your choices. “Slut” is a word used by insecure people who feel threatened by strong, assertive women. Let love of self be your strength and your shield against meaningless judgments. And wear what you love because you feel fabulous in it.

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